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The BeanScene: In honor of National Coming Out Day

Up Front

If you have ever come out to family, friends and coworkers, you know unnerving it can be.

Will your friends be accepting?

Will your coworkers ask you a lot of questions you may or may not be prepared to answer?

Will your mother cry?

However, for all of these questions, there is one universal answer: You must be true to yourself.

While I’m not comfortable sharing every detail of my own story with the general public, it amazes me how clearly I remember it. Then again, that’s what happens when you pick a national holiday like St. Patrick’s Day to come out.

Despite the issues that can arise from coming out of the closet, it is of paramount importance that we are visible to the rest of the world.

I’m going to let another highly educated and out lesbian remind us all why:

"I think the responsibility that we have as gay Americans to the extent that we can — and we ought to be really ambitious about the extent to which we can — we have to be out.

"That’s the thing that we owe the people who came before us who are the pioneers, and that’s the thing we owe the next generation of gay people in terms of clearing the way and making life easier for them. I think that there is a moral imperative to be out, and I think that if you’re not out, you have to come to an ethical understanding with yourself why you are not. And it shouldn’t be something that is excused lightly.

"I don’t think that people should be forced out of the closet, but I think that every gay person, sort of, ought to push themselves in that regard. Because it’s not just you. It’s for the community and it’s for the country.”

–- Rachel Maddow

If you decided to come out to the people you care about last Tuesday, I want to personally commend you for your bravery. It is no easy task. But I can only imagine how much harder it must been for the generations before me. I feel very blessed to have been born in the time that I was.

I know that hiding is no way to honor the countless LGBT people who paved the way for me.

The greatest gift you can give to yourself and the people you care about is to give them an honest representation of you. Being gay is only one small chunk of who you are, yet it is such a critical piece. Own every part.

Got a comment or a cool event you think I should feature for the next week? Email me at BeanScene92103@gmail.com.

The Weekly To-Do

So, you’re out and proud and now you want to celebrate?? Ok! Tonight, check out Laugh Out Proud at Martinis Above Fourth at 8 pm with headliner Renee Santos and other local LGBT comedians, including Sarah Burford.

Tomorrow night, Soul Kiss at The Flame is throwing a Stop Light Party! Wear red if you are cartin’ the proverbial U-Haul to Couples Town, yellow if things are kind of complicated, and green if you’re as free as those beers that hot girl across the bar just sent your way.

On Saturday, The New Children’s Museum will close off the street for its Trash Block Party from 10 am to 4 pm. This event has trapeze acts, food truck fare, and hands-on art projects available for whole families and big kids alike.

Finish your weekend off in the gayborhood with the Hillcrest Hoedown this Sunday from 1 pm to 8 pm at the intersection of Normal Street and University Avenue. There is a mechanical bull and Three Olives Cream Soda cocktails at the street side saloon. Mechanical bull, ladies! Mechanical bull!

On Tuesday October 18, Tori Roze presents Ruby Tuesdays at Ruby Room. The lineup this week includes Portland band Bryan Minus and Enreverie.

Remember to check out Inferno on the first Saturday of each month at Brass Rail if you’re not down the 20-something scene anymore. Inferno is setting its sights on the Long Beach scene when DJ dirty KURTY will hold court at Lush Lounge on October 22.

The Venue Menu

Peruse this list at your leisure—These are the hottest lesbian nights around town.

Thursdays - Repent at Rich’s Nightclub.

Fridays – Soul Kiss at The Flame.

Saturdays – Femme Fatale at Numbers.

Sundays – Ladies Night at Bourbon Street.

All Day, Every Day – Check out the action at Gossip Grill.

Sandy is a staff writer and lesbian social columnist for SDGLN. She holds a BA in English from San Diego State University yet works mainly in the healthcare industry. Sandy previously worked as a staff writer and copy editor for San Diego State's independent and student-lead The Daily Aztec reviewing concerts and films. She enjoys iced coffee, orangutans, and Balboa Park. But they again, who doesn't? Sandy can be reached at BeanScene92103@gmail.com.