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Mayor bans straights, impeached in Michigan town

Elijah Daniel was the Mayor of Hell Michigan, but only for a brief moment because he "banned" straights.

The Mayor of Hell Michigan was sworn into office this week then swiftly impeached. His first act as a public official was to ban all heterosexuals from the town.

 Elijah Daniel is a writer and a comedian, but it may be his very brief stint as Mayor that will bring him the most notoriety.

“I was looking for a town willing to make me mayor,” Daniel told HuffPost. “They’ll do it in Hell for $100, so I caught a redeye to Michigan and got sworn in.”

Daniel seemed to be taking a page from the lesson book of current President Donald Trump because immediately after being sworn in Daniel decreed a ban on straight people. 

“My ban is a copy-and-paste of Trump’s Muslim ban, but with heterosexuals instead,” said Daniel.

Jokingly he says the ban is in retaliation to being told that gays will go to hell, and he doesn’t want to see heterosexuals take that way from us too.

Again taking an example from the current president, Daniel posted his decree on Twitter. “As of today, August 30th, 2017 I am the legal mayor of Hell, Michigan. This is real. I am the mayor of Hell.”

Not to appear discriminatory, Daniel then offered the straight residents who live in the town an option to stay, but that would cost them a taxation of $84,000 which they would get back in one year as long as they abstained from having sexual relations.

Conversely,  if the hetero citizens wanted to forego the fine, they could sign up for “reparative therapy,” or be straight shamed publicly a la Hester Prynne complete with a scarlet “H” and cargo shorts in the town square.

The jokster, of course, meant the whole thing as a prank,  he was impeached shortly after he released it.

He Tweeted, “Being impeached was fun @realDonaldTrump, you should try it.”